For
fear of father
Life seemed mute
All I knew, whispers
All I read, eyes
All I followed,
schedule
All I felt, ice.
For fear of father
Life was order
All I heard, silence
All I knew, rush
All I lived, pretence
All I heard, hush
For fear of father
Life was leaden
All I watched, pages
All I sang, hymns
All I played, chess
All I learned, voice
For fear of father
Life was misery
All Mom had,
miscarriages
All we wore, bandages
All mom swigged,
tears
All we saw, bruises.
For fear of father
In every kiss
Life was bitter
In every hobble
I heard a whimper
In every thought
I wished an echo
For fear of father
Now
Without father
Life seems free
All I hear, laughter
All I see, colour
All I feel, warmth
Without father
Life seems serene,
though unfair
All I hear, criticism
All I see, hypocrisy
All I feel, timidity
Without father
How I live, reticent
How I speak, internet
Yet I hide
Behind emojis, I
laugh
Behind hashtags, I
talk
Behind AI, I play
Without father
Still, I know not me
As myself
To fear I lose
Fear of known
Fear of father.